Conflict is natural and inevitable. It's a time when people are not getting what they need or want (or at least what they think they need or want). Most people need control, respect, fairness, growth, and space.
Perspectives are not right or wrong, even though they may be different. Perspective is how we look at a situation based on our experience.
Conflict management is dealing with needs or wants while respecting each other's boundaries. Ask yourself: How important is the need/want? Is it worth fighting over? Are there ways for both people to get what is important to them?
Conflict Styles
We always have choices about how to handle a conflict. Which style we choose usually depends on how much we push our needs and how we are willing to work with others.
Conflict Management
Conciliation/Negotiation
usually involves conversation between people having the conflict
a third person (like a teacher, counselor, or mutual friend) may encourage the parties to negotiate
Mediation
a neutral third party guides people having a conflict through the process of talking face-to-face about the problem and finding possible solutions
mediators do not take sides and do not suggest ideas
disputants (the people with the conflict) should want to participate; mediators do not force anyone
it is up to the disputants to go through with their agreement
What is a Mediation?
Without taking sides, a mediator helps the disputants
communicate more clearly
deal with the conflict on their own
see the feelings and important problems in the conflict
brainstorm possible solutions
find an agreement that is acceptable to both parties
Does the mediator take sides or suggest ways to resolve the conflict? - No!
The mediator is only there to help disputants talk about the conflict. She or he tries to help the disputants figure it out on their own.
If a mediator knows one of the disputants well, it may be hard to stay neutral and not take sides. The mediator should tell the counselor who will find another mediator.
Do mediations always end in agreement? - Nope.
Mediation works best when both parties are willing to try to resolve their dispute, but a mediator cannot force someone into agreement or make them stick to it.
The mediator is there to guide the disputants through a process.
What are the benefits of mediation for the disputants?
solve problems while treating others with respect
improve relationships by speaking honestly about their feelings
resolve conflict on their own without someone telling them what to do