What is Bullying? Bullying occurs when someone deliberately and repeatedly uses words or actions to cause physical or mental harm. The abuse can be direct or indirect and makes it difficult for the target to defend him/herself.
Deliberately: The bully wants to hurt someone. This is no accident.
Repeatedly: Bullying is not a one-time thing. It happens over and over.
Physical and mental: The victim's body or feelings can be hurt.
Direct or indirect: Bullying can be direct, such as hitting or kicking. The harm can also be indirect, such as telling lies or telling people not to play with someone.
Difficulty defending him or herself: The bully chooses victims over whom he or she has some advantage. For example, the bully could be stronger or more popular than the person he or she bullies.
Fooling around with friends or pushing someone once is not bullying. The listed key points must be present for bullying to occur.
Handling Bullies
It's very important to remember that any strategy you use to stop a certain bully from picking on you will not necessarily work with all bullies. Sometimes you have to try different things to see what will work with different people. For example, if you ignore a bully when they're picking on you, they may become bored and leave you alone. If you tried ignoring a different bully, they may begin to pick on you even more to try and get a reaction out of you. So ignoring a bully won't work with every bully. This is true for all strategies that you use.
It's a good idea to let an adult know if someone is picking on you in or out of school. If you're trying to handle the situation on your own, at least this way an adult will know about what's going on and will be able to check in on you to make sure you're okay. There are some situations that you will be able to handle on your own. If someone is bullying you and the things you've tried have not stopped the mistreatment, then it's time to get help from an adult. No one has the right to make you feel scared, uncomfortable, or small. No one has the right to hurt, touch, or threaten you.
"Snitching"
We hear the term "snitching" all the time. "No one wants to be caught "snitching."' The word "snitching" is only being used by the bully and the bully's friends, because they don't want to get in trouble for what they're doing. They know they're doing something wrong. Your friends would never call you a snitch. They would want you to get help, which is what you would be doing.
Let me try to explain a little more:
When you "tattle tale," it means you're telling an adult about something small in order to get another person in trouble. Example: "Mrs. Wayne, he's chewing gum and you said that the next time you caught him you'd write him up!"
When you get help, it means you're telling an adult in order to stop a bad or dangerous situation, so you're trying to get someone out of trouble. Example: "Mrs. Wayne, when your back is turned, two students are spitting in her hair and they push her in the hallway, too."
See the difference? When deciding if you should tell an adult about a situation, first ask yourself:
Is this something that an adult needs to know?
Why am I telling? Is it to get someone in trouble or help someone out of trouble?
Your friends want you to get help so the mistreatment will stop. The bully doesn't want you to get help because then they'll be in trouble.
Anytime someone mistreats or bullies you and you don't do anything about it, you're giving them permission to keep on doing it. Once you get help, then they know that you're not someone they can pick on because you'll stand up for yourself. You'll no longer be an easy target, which is what the bully thinks you are.